Author:
B’Elanna Paris
Title:
‘The Truth Hurts’
Rating:
G
Date:
04/2002
Disclaimer:
All characters and Star Trek related material belongs to Paramount Pictures.
E-Mail:
dqcafe@yahoo.co.uk
Feedback
would be much appreciated.
**********************************************************************
Set
during & after Memorial. CODA.
Tom & B’Elanna are ignoring each other.
**********************************************************************
B’Elanna
had just left Tom’s quarters, she was angry. But she knew she shouldn’t be
though. Tom really believed that he had taken part in those atrocities. He
couldn’t have though, she knew he would never do anything like that. She made
it to the turbolift. “Deck 9" she shouted.
She was
culching her fists, she was about to burst. And she did. She kicked the
turbolift quite a few times in her anger. It hurt her more than it hurt the
turbolift. The turbolift doors opened, she limped to her quarters, her right
foot was throbbing like hell. Only Tom Paris ever drives her this mad.
She
went and lay on the bed. Why didn’t he want her to be close, to help him
through this? She couldn’t believe how he screamed at her. They’d had
terrible fights in the past but he had never actually screamed at her, except
for when Alice was controlling him, B’Elanna knew that wasn’t really him.
B’Elanna
knew this was probably harder on him than it was on anyone else. She was sure
that he was remembering Caldik Prime. Of course, he would never talk about it.
***********************************************
Chief
Engineer’s Personal Log Stardate 53587.4
Well,
we found that damn planet and that ‘memorial’ thing that has been giving
people memories which aren’t there own. I saw Tom an hour ago in the mess hall
and he
still didn’t seem ‘relieved’ that they were not his memories. I don’t
know what to do, why won’t he let me in.
***********************************************
They
had both been avoiding each other for a couple of days now. Since the
‘Alice’ incident everything in their relationship had been running smoothly
and then this had to happen, she thought.
She
glanced at the time, 10.02, time to get to bed, early start tomorrow. After
B’Elanna had finished all of her ablutions, she had just began to climb into
bed, when her announcer rang. ‘Not now’, she thought.
“Come,”
she said. It was Tom, “Tom what are you doing here?”
“I
wanted to talk about.....”
B’Elanna
cut him off, “Tom, this isn’t really a good time.” B’Elanna wasn’t
prepared for this.
“Well,
when is a good time B’Elanna?” he shouted.
That
got her attention.
“Look,
Tom, really isn’t the time, I’ve got engineering reports to do!”
“Well,
it looks to me as if you were going to bed!” Tom countered, noticing no PADDs
in sight and the rumpled bed clothes.
“I
was going to do them in bed.” she retorted.
“That’s
not like you”
Tom
hadn’t got the hint. “Well, maybe I’ve changed my habits!” Just trying
to get rid of him.
“Right,
well, I should leave to your precious reports then!”
“Why
don’t you just do that!”
Tom
turned and left. Why did she just do that? Why couldn’t she just talk to him?
Why? Or maybe it was him?
*************************************************
B’Elanna
had laid awake, she just couldn’t get to sleep. It was 00.37 hours in the
morning. She was going to speak to Tom, that was if he was awake.
As
B’Elanna walked through Voyager’s corridors at night, with her pyjamas and
her dressing gown on. She hadn’t even bothered to put her slippers on, s o her
feet were cold.
She
finally reached Tom’s door. Was he awake? What was he going to say? Well,
I’m here now.......
Just as
B’Elanna was going to press the code into his quarters (if he was asleep she
didn’t want to wake him). His door opened to reveal: “Tom”
“Huh,
B’Elanna, I was just about to come and see you.”
“I’m
here, now.” she said, seeing the irony in the situation.
Tom let
B’Elanna past, to get into his quarters.
“Look,
Tom, I’m sorry!”
“No,
I’m the one who’s sorry. I shouldn’t have barged into your quarters like
that!”
“It
doesn’t matter.”
“It
does B’Elanna and what I’m really sorry for is how I shouted at you
when..” she cut him off.
“Tom
there’s no need, what you went through, it pushed you to your limits.”
Tom
felt something coming, “But?”
“But
when things happen.... you clam up and don’t let anyone near you, to help. I
just want to........”
“Are
you offering to be my counselor? I’m not gonna just spill my life out to you
when you feel I have clammed up.” He could feel the anger rising up inside
him.
“This
is exactly what I’m talking about Tom. You being defensive, putting a mask
over what is really going on with you!”
“I’m
not the only one around here who clams up!” He snapped.
“Okay
Tom, I know I can be.... push people away but I’m trying I’m getting
better.”
“That’s
what you’ve been saying for the past two years!”
“What?”
Facing the fact.
“B’Elanna,
this is exactly the same argument we were having two years ago, even before we
going out.”
“They’re
not as frequent as they used to be!” She was fooling herself.
“Huh!
We seem to be stuck at the same point. I wonder sometimes is it all really worth
it?”
“So,
your saying its over?”
“I
don’t what I’m saying.”
B’Elanna
left.
***********************************************
The
next day; B’Elanna was feeling upset, confused, angry, tired and numb.
Last
night, it was like, apart of her had just died. It hadn’t straight away, it
gone gradually through the night as she had laid awake, thinking about Tom. The
more she thought about it the worse it felt. They had split up, or had they? It
felt like they had. B’Elanna had gone around there to let Tom apologise for
what he had said and what she had said. Instead, he had turned things around, or
had she? She had become defensive at the home truths that Tom had began dishing
out and the row had escalated from there.
Their
first night together nearly two years ago, she had promised Tom to not push him
away anymore. She had gone back on that so many times. No wonder, Tom was
rethinking their relationship.
They
did seem to be stuck in a groove and B’Elanna wanted to get out of it for her
sake as well as Tom’s.
*******************************************
B’Elanna
sat in the corner of the mess hall on her own, that is until Harry came in and
collected his breakfast from Neelix and came to sit with her.
“Harry,
I don’t want any company right now.” She politely said, hoping he would take
the hint.
“Tom,
told me what happened.”
B’Elanna
let a sarcastic laugh, “Already, it’s only 09.00.”
“B’Elanna,
he’s really cut up, about this.”
“So,
why isn’t he here telling me himself.”
*******************************************
The
Bridge at 12.00, people are beginning to leave for lunch. B’Elanna was sitting
at her console, keeping her eyes firmly down. The temptation to look up kept
coming when she felt as though a pair of eyes, a pair of blue eyes were upon
her.
And
then they were, “Want to get lunch?”
“Erm,
I’ve got work to do.” Now who was avoiding a conversation.
The
Captain’s voice interrupted their conversation, “B’Elanna you can go have
lunch, we don’t need you at the moment.”
“Ok,
Captain,” what else could she say?
B’Elanna
got up and walked towards the turbolift with Tom in silence. They stood in
silence until B’Elanna realised they needed to tell the computer where to go,
“Deck 2, Mess hall.” she commanded.
“B’Elanna,
I’m sorry.”
She
didn’t say anything, she just kept staring forwards.
“Computer,
halt turbolift. For God sake B’Elanna talk to me!”
“What
do you want me to say Tom, that I forgive you? When I should be congratulating
you for telling me the truth about myself.”
“What
are you talking about?”
“Me.
Clamming up.... pushing people away. I keep doing it, though I keep promising
not to,
I’m not sure why you stick with me. And I couldn’t blame you if you left
me.”
“B’Elanna,
just because you clam up, try and push me away, doesn’t mean I’m gonna leave
you. I Love You.”
B’Elanna
turned to face him, “You.... love me? Really?”
“Of
course, I do. I know I never said it before but I have tried to show you.”
“I
suppose I’ve always known, it’s just nice to hear you finally say it.”
“So
are we okay?”
“Computer,
Resume.” A metaphor for resuming their relationship.
THE
END